As You Wish
by Mrs Turtle
Summary: Toad meets a new student and tries to make friends... Toadcentric and AU. Just so I don't have to keep repeating myself, I don't own a thing.
1. I'm Not Crazy, Just a Little Impaired

A/N: Hi! This isn't so much an Alternate Universe but I'd thought I'd be safe 'cause I haven't seen the show in a while... If you're thinking you've seen this story before, you probably have, it's just that I took it down to re-write it. - Enjoy!

I'd like to leave a big thank you to L'ange-sans-Ailes for him beta-reading this for me and giving me ideas for the second half of this chapter. Thank you, gracias, merci, vielen dank, and dank u.

By the way, I'd really like it if you (yes, _you)_ reviewed when you're finished reading.

* * *

_Chapter 1_-"_I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired_" 

Toad started the bath. This was the first time he had been completely alone in the house. The others said they were going to the mall to "shop" but he told them he wasn't feeling very well and was going to take a bath. He was criticized, but they soon left.

He noticed the dirt ring around the edge of the tub and the hard water stains on the tile and in the grout as he started to think about school. He was a sophomore now. The principal had barley passed him last year, and even then it was because he wanted him to move on so he would get out of the school. It was only mid-November and he was already skipping most of his classes.

He remembered a time when he was popular. His 12th birthday party was a big hit. Half of the fifth grade was there. All the other kids loved him. He was smart, and funny, the girls thought he was cute too. The one definite thing he was glad about at that party was that he was actually able to have it. His mother had finally kicked his drunken father out and had gotten a restraining order. Normally he didn't want his friends over and have them see his father passed out in a drunken stuper on the couch or raping his mom on the kitchen table.

About six months after turning twelve, puberty hit him like a rock. He shot up about four inches; hair started to grow in… odd places, and became a little pale. He had wondered why he didn't start growing a beard, but his mother assured him that he was still growing so he didn't think any more of it. Then he went into the sixth grade. Most of his friends got split up and were sent to different schools, some even moved out of state. But he was optimistic, until some older kids started picking on him.

Toad snapped back to reality when he realized his bath was full.

He slipped out of everything but his boxer shorts. Easing himself into lukewarm water, he thought that his boxers clinging to him was an odd sensation to go out with, but he didn't want to embarrass the person who found him. He thought it strange how considerate he was being as he slipped his head below the water and closed his eyes, waiting. He'd have to wait a long time; thanks to his mutation he was able to hold his breath longer than a normal person. Then he had an idea; let out his breath and breath in water. He tried it but at soon as he inhaled the water his reflexes kicked in and made him come up coughing. He sat in the tub heaving for about ten minutes. The front door opened. He quickly wrapped a towel around himself, pulled the plug on the tub and grabbed his clothes before running to his room.

The next day he didn't feel like ditching and he didn't feel like staying home, so he actually went to class. The bell rang for third period and everyone sat down in his or her seats. Jean was two rows down from him and Kurt was right next to him.

"Why'd I even come here?" He whispered to himself. He was still a little sad.

"Well, look who decided to come to class!" Kurt said rather loudly as the teacher came up to the front of the class. A student walked in to the class room and handed the teacher, Ms. Bolan, a piece of paper and waited silently next to her clutching a book. 'New student' was instantly whispered all over the classroom.

Todd noticed her black eye.

"Wow," the football jock behind Todd, Frank, whispered to those around him, "She looks like a total dip shit."

"Students!" Ms. Bolan said, immediately grabbing everyone's attention, "We have a new student, Leala Walkman, she'll be with us for the rest of the year." She looked at Leala, "Why don't you tell us about yourself?"

"Alright," She turned to the class, she seemed to have an accent similar to Rouge's. "I'm from Louisiana. Umm, umm...My father is a police officer, he wanted to move up here before the next hurricane season started."

Someone in the back blurted out, "How did you get that shiner?" Leala blushed and diverted her eyes.

"You don't have to answer that, Leala." Ms. Bolan said.

"It's alright." She turned her attention back to the class, "It was a freak moving accident. I'm rather clumsy and I bruise easily."

"Ok, dear, thank you. You can sit down now, if you please. I believe there is an empty seat next to Mr. Tolensky. Todd, will you raise your hand please, so she knows who you are?" He was reluctant, so the jock behind him leaned forward grabbed his arm and raised it for him. He shrugged away from him as the class snickered. "Mr. Smith, the next time you lay a hand on another student I will make you un-eligible to play Football. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am." He said as Todd put his head down on his desk trying to stop himself from crying.

"Right there, dear." Ms. Bolan motioned to Leala.

She sat down. Todd looked her over as Ms. Bolan began to speak again.

"Leala, there are a few rules in this class room..."

As Ms. Bolan started her lesson on the class rules, Todd looked her over. She was overweight, but not by more than twenty pounds, and she carried the weight evenly. She had long black hair. Thick eyebrows, the same color as her hair, and silver colored eyes.

A crumpled paper flew onto his desk from somewhere behind him. He opened it. It read "Checking out the dip shit, loser?" He turned around and the jock started laughing. Todd punched him in the nose, which sent the jockey's head flying back.

"All right, both of you to the office, NOW!" Ms. Bolan said.

* * *

_BANG- _A seemingly empty hallway found Todd Tolensky flinging his flimsy body as hard as he could against one locker after another. Lunchtime was the best and worst time to break into lockers. Best because most teachers were in the lounge and didn't notice the noise, worst because anyone could come down the hallway at any moment and report him. 

_BANG_- Unfortunately, locker-smashing is a dangerous game; if you don't get the angle just right...

_BANG-_"OWWW!"

...You could hurt yourself. Toad sat against the wall for a few moments, holding his damaged head as he verbally battered himself with a string of cuss words.

"Hey, are you ok?" A southern accent. He flinched and looked up expecting to see Rogue but instead saw Leala, the new girl, kneeling a foot away from him, her hand extended and ready to help him up. "I was in the next hallway, I heard a loud noise..."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He caught her gaze for only a moment, then looked away while brushing away her hand, "Ya might not wanna be helpin' me. I'm sure it'll be hard enough for ya ta make friends as is, ya don't kneed ta be seen talkin' with th' likes of me."

"I'm glad for your concern, but I think I've made all the friends I'm going to make in the chess club. Did you get into trouble for punching that guy?"

"Oh, Frankie? Yeah, that's why ya haven't seen me for the past week; I jus' got back from suspension t'day." _Why am I talkin' t' her?_ He slid himself up with the help of the wall and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" She stood up as gracious as a geisha.

"Go hang out with your checkers club; I don't wanna ruin your life." _I've been generous lately._ Something compelled him to stop

"Chess." She corrected him.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't you have friends?"

"Yea, they're probably wonderin' where I am right now." Desperately wanting to stay, not hang out with his friends, he said the first thing that came to his mouth, "I like your accent," _What th' hell am I sayin'? _"I'm surprised ya pronounce all your words correctly, ya don't skimp out like I do."

"I was brought up in a strict household and school system. If you were to go there you would get a beating for pronouncing your words the way you do."

"Really? Is school up here easy for you?"

"Oh, yes. I get through my homework easily. Back home we had three hours of homework a night, even on weekends."

"Wow! Maybe ya could help me with my homework sometime?" _What the hell am I doin'? Did I jus' make a date with a loser? GREAT!_

"Sure, if you need it." She grinned, "You're also welcome to join chess club if you want to. I don't think they would mind."

"I don't think they would like a mutant joining their club."

"Why not? A lot of people in there are gay, I don't think they're very closed minded."

_Now I really don't wanna join._ "Thanks for the offer, but I ain't good at board games, 'specially ones where ya gotta think ahead."

"Alright. The offer is still open if you change your mind. There must be something you're good at?"

"Sure. Maybe I'll find out one day, but for now I'll just stay away from chess." He started to feel hot but he didn't know why, _maybe I should go t' the nurse_, each breath became slightly more labored, **_you're allergic t' geeks, Toad,_** "Um...I have t' go and meet my friends."

"Alright. You didn't miss that much in Ms. Bolan's class, by-the-by; all she does is lecture, as long as you read the book you'll be fine." He sighed as she started to walk away. He turned and started the other way, but before he got down to the end of the hallway, he heard a familiar gang of voices at the other end of the hall. It was Frankie and his gang of football jock friends. As usual, he didn't get into trouble at all for what happened.

"Hey," One of them called, "It's the new dip shit!"

"Hey loser," Frank called, "Wanna play football. You're big enough to be a defense man!"

Todd ducked behind a nearby vending machine. He knew they were talking to Leala, and that they probably hadn't noticed him. He was torn. One side of him told him to run, the other knew what it was like and wanted, _wanted_ to stay and help her. But he knew he couldn't stand up to Frank by himself, much less all of his friends. It was times like these he wished he had someone else's powers.

_You can't do much_, he thought, _with a tongue like this. Shit like this is why you hang out with Freddie an' Wanda an' everyone else. Just go, Todd. Walk away.** I can't just leave her there**. Yes you can. What has anyone else done for you? What has she done for you? **I do want one good friend. Just one.** You don't deserve one. You're not normal._

"Hey, dip face."

"Stop," Leala pleaded, "Don't push me, what did I ever do to you?"

_**See, SEE? She ain't bein' treated fair either.** _

_Who said life was fair? Your own mother wasn't fair to you. You just have to worry about yourself. You should go before they notice you alone. Besides, you're a coward, you can't stand up for yourself, what makes ya think you can stand up for her? Just walk away. She'll get over it._ Todd started to slink away.

"Maybe she'd like a little fun?"

"Fun, what kind'a fun, Frankie?" One of his henchmen asked.

Todd started walking away.

"Good ol' fashioned fun. Where's the nearest bathroom?"

Todd froze at hearing this. _**I can't just leave 'er.** Yes you can. How can you expect to stand up to those guys? They're on the varsity football team for Christ's sake! Just keep walking.

* * *

_

"I wonder what's keeping Toad-boy so long?" Pietro asked in the school courtyard.

"Oh he's probably just trying to break into lockers again. Maybe he gave himself a concussion." Everyone laughed at Freddie's joke. Just then they heard a loud sound like a fire truck coming from inside the school. Then all eyes were on Todd as he came rushing out of the school doors screaming at the top of his lungs followed by a small league of football players.

"C'mere, ya little dip shit mutant. I just wanna break your neck." Frankie yelled.

There was a large tree that the first graduating class had planted and dedicated to the school. Up until that point Todd had thought it useless. But not now. He jumped as high into it as he could onto a branch and then started climbing. One of the smaller jocks started to follow but was pulled back by some invisible force and landed flat on his back. Everyone turned to Jean.

"It wasn't me! I swear!" She said frantically.

"Alright!" A teacher yelled above the chorus of voices. She had heard the commotion from the teachers lounge and had come out to investigate. It was Ms. Bolan.

The student body calmed down and soon dissipated from around the tree, their entertainment for the day coming to an abrupt halt. The football jocks left after a moment, realizing it wasn't worth their time. "It's alright Todd. They're gone, you can come down now." Ms. Bolan called to him. Todd eased himself out of the tree slowly. When he was on the lower branches she helped him to the ground.

"Thanks." Without a word, she left. Todd went over to his friends.

"What was that about?" Freddie asked.

"Nothing. Just drop it, ya know how they are; they'll chase ya for no reason." He started reaching for the fries on Freddie's lunch tray.

"Hey!"

"C'mon, man, I'm starvin'. I didn' have breakfast."

"Uh-oh, dip shit alert, six o'clock." Freddie said as Leala walked up to their table. Todd dropped his eyes and stopped shoveling fries into his mouth while attempting to wipe off a hand full of grease onto his pants.

"Thank you." She said to him softly.

"I-I don't know what you're talkin' about..." Todd muttered, thankful that his mutation didn't allow him to blush. It made him better at lying.

"Alright," She said, "Thanks anyway." She turned and left.

"Toad, you're weird." Freddie said.

"Thanks, Blob." He mumbled, staring after Leala.


	2. Honor Among Thieves

"Honor Among Thieves"

A/N: This chapter is in loving memory of Nolan.

"Thmbody hewp, yo! Thmbody hewp." Friday afternoon caught Todd with his tongue extended as far as it would go, at least the part that wasn't caught in the gum ball machine in the local Kroger. People stared, and a few children gave laughs and points, "Hey, wha a oo sparin a?" He sighed and let his forehead rest against the glass and watched the people pass by. Luckily it was in an obscure corner, so not as many people noticed him as he would have thought.

_**The manager already hates you, why do you still come in here?**_

_If only I had a goddamn quarter, _he thought. _I wonder how many people actually are noticing me...  
**Well, you've certainly gotten yourself into a slime ball.  
**__My tongue hurts, it aint supposed to be stretched out for this long.  
__**Oh, it's probably going to get stuck this way. You're going to look even more ridiculous with your tongue flopping out of your mouth.**_

This started him struggling again to get unstuck. Then he felt someone come up to him.

"Is no wha ii looth lie...I thwear..." He started, frantically trying to hide his face and wondering how much of his life the manager was going to leave him.

"Don't worry, I'll get you out." He looked up. He saw Leala reach into her pocket and pull out a quarter, "Now, if you don't mind sweetie, your head is blocking my quarter."

He stretched as far as his tongue would allow, and a twist later the stretchiest appendage Toad had was freed from its gum ball prison.

"I'm not even sure I want to know how you got your tongue stuck in there."

"I still taste grape." He smiled, licking his lips, "Thanks, yo."

"No problem, I know you would of done the same for me." She turned, ready to enter the main part of the store.

"Obviously you don't know me, yo. Part of the brotherhood code." He said, eying a fly buzzing near his head.

"You guys have a code?" She asked as she turned back, surprised.

"Course we do, we got morals too," he said, and caught the fly with his tongue, "Hey, still works."

"O...k," She turned again and grabbed a cart.

"Hey, wait a sec," Todd yelled after her as she strode away, "I need ta ask you somethin', do ya mind?"

"Ask away," She said, heading towards some canned foods.

_Hey, is she messin with me? I can't tell._

"Well, I don't really got anyone else to ask this too, but umm...One of my friends, yeah, a friend of mine has this crush on this girl," Leala raised an eyebrow at him. He sighed and hung his head, "Ok, so _I _have this crush on a girl, ok!"

"At least you're honest," She mentioned, "What do you want to ask me about this girl?"

"Well, she don't really like me back, yo, so I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to win her over."

Leala slowly rolled the cart to a stop, then she looked at a fixed spot in the cart, as if thinking. He could see the cart shake the tiniest bit.

"Yo, are ya gonna help me or not?" He asked frantically.

"I know nothing of romance, how do you expect me to help you?" She said, apparently out of her trance.

"Well, I dunno. You're a girl, I thought all girls knew about stuff like that." Todd was trailing her around the store.

"I'd love to help you, Todd, you can't comprehend how much I appreciate what you did for me." She turned to him for a second and slowed down. He could see that her black eye was looking better.

"Please, I got no one else who'd be willing to help me." He clasped his hands together, "Please."

"What are your grades like?"

"Huh? What's that gotta do with anything?"

"You strike me as someone who doesn't like school that much." Leala said.

"I'm smart enough that I don't need school." Toad stuck out his chest.

"Is that why I had to get your tongue out of a gum ball machine?"

"It was just a misculcu...ah...it was just a bad idea." His shoulders collapsed in on his chest.

"So is not coming to class."

"Pfft, I don't need school, I'm probly gonna end up in jail anyway."

"Yeah, you would make a good bitch for some thug." Leala smiled.

"Hey!"

"What? You have nice legs," She sighed, looking into her cart, "Sorry."

"Well, it is kinda weird to hear that comin' from a nice girl like you, yo." Todd said, trying to be sincere.

She rolled her eyes as she put a box of cereal in the cart, "Well, you can suck up, that's going to be a handy tool for getting your grades up."

"What, who the hell said I was doin' that?"

"You want advice to win over this girl, don't you?" He nodded, following her as she headed down to the frozen foods, "Well, if you keep your grade point average at least at 2.5, I'll give you one piece of advice a week."

"What?" Toad yelled, "2.5, that's impossible."

"No it's not. I'm sure you're just unmotivated, not retarded. Thats my offer, keep your grades at c's and b's and I will give you advice. I can check your grades on line."

"Pfft. Ok, but you gotta give me tutoring too, I'm not sure I can do that by myself, ya know what I mean?"

"Okay. How about you meet me in the library every Friday at lunch and I can help you then? That way I can give you advice at the same time."

"Sure thing. I aint promising anything though." He waves his hand and turns around and starts walking away.

"Just remember, teachers love suck ups." She called after him as two teens led by a tall blond with a red lettermen jacket turned into their isle. Todd froze.

"D-Duncan." He stuttered as he took a step back.

"Well, well, if it aint stink boy?" He laughed and put his hand up, indicating the others to stop, "I've been looking for you, I need to thank you for ruining Frankie's fun the other day."

"Tell him to stop botherin' me, Duncan. I ain't askin' for trouble."

"Really now," The jock said menacingly, cracking his knuckles,"Is that why you busted his nose?"

"That was last week, you're so slow you're just getting back at me now!" Todd said, trying to get his confidence up.

"Hahaha," Duncan said sarcastically, "By the way, how's that fuck buddy of yours doing? What's his name," He turned to his pals jokingly, "Lard ass, is it?"

"Take that back!"

"I don't take orders from someone who lives with a fag and street trash."

"You're the fag, Duncan!" Todd's muscles were tight and he unconsciously balled his fists up.

"Really, is that why that gothic slut was coming on to me yesterday?"

Screaming, Todd lunged at Duncan, head butting him in the gut. They both flew back, hitting a pyramid of cans. A few hit the football player in the head, but surprisingly enough none landed back down on Todd. After the initial shock, Todd tried to get up, but Duncan grabbed his shirt. They struggled on the floor, Todd trying to break free, Duncan trying to get him to hold still so he could hit him. After rolling over strewn cans of beans Todd managed to get on top again. He positioned his legs on either side of the bigger teens chest, getting his shoes on his jacket.

"Hold still you slimy little freak and let me knock your lights out!" Todd smiled, "What are you smiling about, ya little freak?"

"Let me tell you what it feels like to be a freak." he the spit slime in his face and jumped away. As Duncan's thugs rushed to help him up, Todd grabbed Leala and dashed out of the isle.

"Whew that was close," Todd gasped as they headed towards the dairy section. A man was searching for the expiration date on a carton of milk. Toad started eying him.

"Who were the people he was talking about," Leala asked.

"My roomies at the boarding house," He said as he continued to follow her, "It aint that bad. We just don't got a lot to eat."

"Oh, you poor thing. No wonder you don't get good grades."

"That ain't got nothin to do with it, yo," He said as she picked up a half-gallon of milk and, like any good shopper, looked for the expiration date. This made Toad's eyes wander back to the man, who was now pondering over yogurt, "Hey, I'll be right back." He told her as he snuck off.

"Ok," Leala said as she set the milk in the cart and reached for some eggs, not looking at him.

Todd snuck up behind the man, slowly tiptoeing up to him and trying to be as quiet as he could. He looked around. Leala was searching through eggs, and there was no one else around. _Perfect._ He reached into the man's pocket and pulled out his wallet. Todd backed up a few steps and looked inside it. _Holy shit, theres gotta be at least $50 in here, yo!_ He snapped the wallet shut. He looked back at Leala. She closed a carton of eggs and placed it back on the shelf, then reached for another one. He looked back at the man, who started to turn around. _Fuck. **I told you to take a shower, but did you? Noooo. ****Think fast you idiot**_.

"Umm...You dropped this, yo."

"Oh, why thank you young man. This had all my shopping money in it, if I were to loose it I would be in deep trouble. Most teens today would just keep the wallet. Thank you." He took the wallet from Todd's hand and turned back to the choices of yogurt.

_You're not welcome, ya looser_ Todd thought as he dug his hands in his pockets and walked back towards Leala, who was still looking for the perfect carton of eggs. _I'm so hungry I could eat a dung beetle._

"Interesting," Leala said as she finally put eggs in her cart.

"What?" Todd asked.

"What would you have done if he caught you?" She met his eyes.

He was thrown off by the question, "You saw that? I thought you wasn't lookin'."

"I saw, and I am shocked and very disappointed."

"Well sorry, but what would you do if you hadn't eaten a decent meal in two days?" Todd said.

"I would go out and get a job."

"Do you realize what it's like being a mutant? Especially one like me, I can't just go get a job at McDonald's or somethin'; they wouldn't let me back in the kitchen!" He stomped off.

"Wait." He stopped, but didn't turn around, "I'm sorry." She pushed the cart up in front of him and stood face to face with him, "I just wish you would think about your actions. Think, if you had taken his wallet, he wouldn't be able to eat for a while. Who knows, he might have a family."

"You can't buy much for a family with 50 bucks." His hands went deeper in his pockets as he looked down at a spot on the floor.

"Maybe he's broke. I'm sorry that you haven't eaten in so long, I didn't know, but that doesn't give you the right to go messing with other peoples lives."

_**Bleeding hearts of the world unite!**  
__But she's right. She is totally right.  
__**Maybe you could use this to get her to buy you somethin'.**_

"Well that doesn't solve me gettin nothin to eat."

"You know, I'm going to have a little bit left over when I'm done shopping, maybe I could get you something to eat." Leala said.

"What about the others. I don't wanna eat and leave them in the cold, yo."

"Hm...How about a frozen pizza? Your oven is working, right?"

"Even if it ain't, we can get Pyro to cook it!"

"Cool, that must be a useful trick."

"Yeah, as long as he doesn't nearly burn the house down...again."

"Can't he control his powers?"

"Nah, he's just kinda insane, yo."

"Oh, ok then. Go pick out a pizza and meet me at the checkout counter."

"Ok, thanks, yo. Where's frozen foods?"

"Over that way," She pointed to the left and set off for checkout. They met back up, Leala with her cart of groceries, Todd with his Tony's Meat Lovers frozen pizza.

"What are you doin' shoppin' anyways?" He asked as they stood in line.

"Oh, my father gets off of work about half an hour after school lets out. He gave me money this morning to go shopping and said he'd be waiting outside after he got off work." It was their turn after the lady in front of them paid. Leala started putting things on the conveyor belt.

"Oh, kinda like a multi-tasking thing, that's cool, I guess." He started helping her pile food on the moving counter. Then the space in front of them was free. Todd flimsily smiled at the glaring cashier. She started scanning the food.

"Here," Leala said to Todd, "Would you put the cart back for me pleas Todd?"

He smiled at hearing his real name, "Sure," He put it back with all the other carts, and by the time he got back all the food was in bags and Leala was paying. His pizza was in its own bag. They went outside. "Thanks again, yo. The guys will really be greatful for this."

"Isn't that them by that parking meter?" And sure enough, Todd looked over and saw that Lance, Pietro, Freddy, and John breaking a parking meter and stealing the quarters.

_Oh no! They're coming over here._

"No, never seen those guys before in my life, yo," He said, trying to hide his face with the pizza box as they came over.

"But didn't I see you sitting with them yesterday?" Leala asked

"Yeah, that was outa the kindness of my heart, yo," He lied, "But I don't know them, and I certainly don't live with them. Plus, my real friends don't wear costumes in broad daylight, 'specially ones that tight." They came up to him.

"Hey, Toad, we're gonna go play Donkey Kong, wanna come?" Pietro asked.

"No thanks person I've never met before!" Todd blurted out, looking helplessly at Leala, who now had her arms crossed over her chest and was looking angry.

"Ah, come on Toad," Lance tried coaxing him, "You have the highest score on that game, and we got a bunch of quarters, same as last time."

Fred laughed, "Remember the ticket cop who came running after us that time. Haha, she could never catch up to the Brotherhood, though." Everyone but Todd high fived each other at that comment.

Just then a cop car pulled up. Pietro spotted it first and yelled out "COP! Every costumed mutant for himself!" And sped off. All of the other members started to run.

Todd picked up his pizza and started to do the same, but Leala grabbed his arm, holding him back. "What? Let me go, yo!"

"He's not here for you."

"Of course he is, when are they not after us?"

"Because he's here for me."


	3. Bad Reputation

A/N: Hi guys. I have 3 other stories along with this one, so if I don't update in a while, I'm working on another story. But I won't forget about you guys, though. I want to thank all the people who reviewed, Ban'yamuwoezu (hope I spelled that right), Batman's Kiny Lover (yes, I loved Nolan, shut up) Death Muncher, Bullseye fanatic, and L'ange-Sanse-Ailes (although you know what the hell I'm doing anyways)

And check out my website! You can get to it from my profile page, just click on the website link.

On to the story!

* * *

Todd stood shaking in fear as he saw the cop car turn off and a huge man step out. **_This guy's gotta be at least ten feet tall. Holy shit, what did I do this time?_**

"Who's this weasely little punk, Leala?"

"Just a friend, Father." She said as she picked up two bags of grocieries.

**_That's right, she said her dad was a cop! I better not mess with her, yo._**

"Doesn't look smart enough to be in chess," He looked Todd up and down.

_**Maybe not but I'll steal your wallet before you can blink, **_"Sure I is, yo, I just started."

"When?" Leala looked back at him, confused.

"Just now, yo, I'll show you who can't make the horse move in an 'L'!"

Leala laughed.

"Don't encourage the mutant, Leala." Her father said. She hung her head and reached for the rest of the grocieries.

Todd glared at the cop, "I'll see ya in the chess club meeting on Monday," And he proceeded to hop of with his pizza back to the Brotherhood house.

No one was there when he got home. **_They're probly off at the arcade. Oh well, gives me more time to eat._**

He read the directions on the back of the box, heated the oven (which _did_ workand stuck in the pizza. He turned on the mini alarm and looked at it in his hands. It was in the shape of a tomato and had bite marks on it from Freddy trying to eat it once.

Looking back at the oven he thought of Leala. **_Why did she buy that for me? Glad she's gonna give me advice on how to win over Wanda._**

The thought of Wanda gave him another sort of idea, and he dashed into his room. Once there, he placed the timer on his dresser and dropped to his knees next to his bed. He searched through the mass of spare parts and dirty clothes until he found an old shoe box. Digging through its contents, he pulled out a roll of condoms and took two, then placed the box back under his bed. He then lifted his matress and grabbed one of many dirty magazines he stole from Lance.

He locked his door.

Throwing everything off his bed, he sat down and opened the magazine. Many cut-out pictures of Wanda's face were plastered to the playboy's bodies. It was obvious that many hours were put into making this special album, most of which was probably spent in secretly snapping pictures of the Scarlet Witch. He pulled down his pants and slowly began to stroke himself. Very deliberatly, he pumped up and down, all the while flipping through the magazine and looking at Wanda's face on clean, beautiful lace clad bodies. Before his climax he stopped himself and took a deep breath.

He took both his pillows and placed them on top of each other. Opening one condom and rolling it out, he placed it in between the pillows. He took the other one and put it on his elongated member. He positioned the magazine on the top of the pillow and started thrusting into the first condom, which felt much better than just touching himself. He imagined that he was actually having sex with Wanda. He closed his eyes, still thrusting. He imagined what she smelled like; roses; what her brests felt like; soft and good; her legs; smooth yet firm. He bit the pillow to stop himself from screaming, more out of habit, as he shot into the condom. He lay down on top of the pillows, face falling into the magazine full of Wanda's photos.

The timer went off.

He burried the used condoms deep in his trash can and replaced the magazine before wobbling downstairs. Pins and needles stuck into his legs..

He took out the pizza with his shirt covering his hands because he couldn't find oven mits.

"Ouch. I guess we ain't used to usin' the oven," He took a sniff of the pizza that was now laying on the counter, "Mmm, but it's so worth it, yo. That Leala ain't half bad."_ You're just saying that coz her dad's a cop._ "Why would she buy me a pizza? For all I know she ain't supposed to be spending the extra money she has." _Ok, so you're gonna start secretly taking pictures of her too?_ "I'm gonna cut this pizza now." He found a knife, but when he tried to cut it the cheese stuck to the knife. He decided to let it cool.

With the scent of peperoni and sausage now floating through the kitchen he opened the fridge. **_Shoulda asked for some soda too. Damn._** He took out the milk, took off the cap, and stuck in his nose and took a good wiff, then chocked. He put the milk back.

15 minutes later he tried to cut the pizza again, this time with success. Just as he finished the rest of the Brotherhood came in.

"We have soda!" Freddy announced as he came through the door with a garbage bag full of soda cans, "We hijacked them from the vending machine at the mall!"

"Mm, what smells good in here?" Lance asked.

"That newbie you guys saw me at the store bought us a pizza."

"Why'd she do that?" Pietro asked.

"I dunno. I guess she's just a bleedin' heart, yo."

"Alright, let's dig in!" Pietro shouted as he raced over to the pizza.

"Where's Wanda, yo?"

"She's probly at the bookstore with Tabby looking at 'romantic' novels." Pietro said.

Lance spoke up, "Romantic novels? Maybe I should get one for Kitty."

Pietro rolled his eyes, "Haven't youu gotten that kitty stuck in the tree yet?"

Lance glared at him, "Shut up Maximoff it's not like that with her."

"You're just tryin' to justifoih yourself, mate" John said, stretching himself out on the couch with his pizza.

Freddy noticed the tired look in Todd's eyes as he leaned on the counter, "Hey, you look like you just ran from the X-Men."

"What?"

"No, that's not it," Pietro said, "He looks like he's been humping Wanda's laundry again. Stay away from my sister and her laundry." He picked up a soda can and threw it at him.

Todd ducked and the can hit the wall before exploding. "I didn't touch her laundry, I swear, yo."

"Lets see if there's anything on t.v." Lance said, sitting down.

"There's nothing good on. We need to steal some cable." Pietro said.

"Hey, look, boobs!" John yelled out.


	4. All My Idiot Friends

**A/N: Ok guys, sorry for the shortness of the chapter and the lack of stuff in it, but I thought I might as well post something before I have an angry mob after me. I'd say I'll have more up soon, but I highly doubt it.  
**

* * *

Todd looked around his neat and tidy room and smiled. He looked over at Wanda lovingly dusting in a form-fitting French maid's outfit. 

"Hey sweet cheeks." He walked up behind her and pulled her to him. "Wanna see why they call me the Toad?" He flicked his tongue. He leaned in to kiss her and closed his eyes. After what Todd thought was the greatest five seconds of his life, he pulled back and opened his eyes to find Pietro in heavy make up and the French maid's outfit.

"Tell me, dear," Pietro asked, "Does this apron make my ass look fat?"

Todd started to back up and pointed at Pietro, "Hey, you stay the fuck outta my dreams, yo. Bring Wanda back."

"Hey big boy what's wrong?" Pietro asked.

With a loud thud Todd fell out of bed screaming. ** I am not a queer**, he thought. He could then hear lance pound on the wall, "Hey, quit whackin' off in there, people are trying to sleep."

He heard Freddy in the next room, "Shut up!"

"Why don't you shut up?" Pietro yelled.

"All of you shut up!" Wanda screamed.

"Don't make me turn this car around!" Pyro yelled.

Todd shook his head and climbed back into his bed while his roommates kept arguing.

* * *

"Nice day out, huh?" Scott asked to no one in particular. 

"Ja," Kurt said before doing a cannonball into the pool.

"Sure would suck if the Brotherhood showed up, though," Kitty said.

"Only if they let Pyro join up," Jean said putting on some sunblock.

"Hey Logan," Kitty yelled to the Canadian bar-b queing hot dogs and burgers over open coals, "Nice apron!"

He turned to her, showing an apron that read 'kiss the cook and die' with a picture of a bloody axe, "Thanks, half-pint."

"Hey, Jean," Scott said, "Why'd you go back to the high school the other day?"

"I just thought it would be nice to visit a few of my lower classmen friends and see how the team was doing."

* * *

"Ok, here's the plan; grab everything and run like hell." Lance said 

The Brotherhood was crouching behind a bush at the X-Men estate.

"Should I really be doing this?" Todd asked himself.

"What's that little buddy?" Freddy asked.

"Mm, I think I smell burgers, yo."

"Alright team, lets move out." Lance said.

* * *

"Hey, where's my sun block?" Jean asked. 

"I dunno," Kitty said, "Hey, like, my towel's missing too!"

"We got a problem, Chuck," Logan said, "Burgers and dogs keep dissapearing when I turn my back."

"It's probably just hungry children..."

"Hey, where's our burgers? I'm starving," Bobby yelled, "What's it take to get some food around here?" A number of other students yelled out in agreement.

"I'll see what's happening." But before he could scan the area a large flame came shooting out of the grill, burning off part of Logan's face.

* * *

"That was a great distraction, John!" Freddy commented back at the Brotherhood boarding house. 

"I know, huh."

"But Logan's probably gonna be coming after you when he re-grow's his face," Pietro said.

"We don't have to worry about that, mates, he won't know it was us!"

"Sure," Todd said, rolling his eyes. Just then Wanda walked in.

"Ok, what did you losers do this time? I just heard Logan's motercycle and a police car."

"Oh shit!" Pietro said, "Ok, who's up for a little camping trip?"

"What about sleeping bags, and food?"

"We just got a bunch of hot dogs. Plus it wouldn't be the first time we camped in the woods for a few nights with nothing but the clothes on our backs." Lance said.

"Hey sis wanna come?"

"No thanks. It'd be nice to have some peace and quiet for a while."

* * *

Todd lied on a small pile of compacted leaves and moss. It didn't relieve his back from the cold hard ground underneath him. He was on his back, looking through the pine needles at the star lit sky. His thoughts drifted from his snoring compatriots, briefly drifting to the goodness of a breakfast burrito, finally landing on the greatest fascination of teenage boys; boobs. **_Ahh the jiggly goodness,_ **he thought. His thoughts were interrupted with one of his friends sleep talking. 

"Of course I don't mind if your mom joins us Christy," Pietro snored.

Then John sat straight up. Groggily getting up, the fire maniac staggered over to what seemed like a pile of dirt and pulled down his zipper. Looking down after he finished, he said "Damn, those ants look pissed."

Todd laughed to himself as his friend lied back down and was glad that he was with his makeshift family, even under the strange and forced circumstances.


	5. Fools in Love

A/N: It's a miacle! I have a chapter posted. REVIEW!!! (maybe I'll get these up faster if I know it's being read). I would like to thank L'ange-sans-ailles for this chapter, for without his help this chapter would not be nearly as funny or as long.

Fools in Love 

"Is the coast clear?" Lance whispered at the back door of the boarding house. Pietro sped through the house and was back in ten seconds.

"All clear, unless you count Wanda," The speed-demon reported.

"I told you the cops wouldn't set up a sting to catch us. Was there ever any doubt?" Lance asked.

"Yes," All the other boys chimed as they made their way through the door and into the kitchen.

Wanda walked in and looked at Pietro, "The cops took your vodka."

"Damn," he said, hanging his head.

"They didn't take my porn, did they?" Lance asked, very worried.

"No, they didn't have enough room or a fork lift."

"That was close," Lance sighed.

"What about the weed?" John asked.

"No," Wanda said, "And I don't blame them. I don't think anyone short of the Wolverine could survive the mess that is your room."

"Thank Thor!" He threw his hands up in the air.

There was a knock at the door. Everyone looked at Wanda. She rolled her eyes, "I don't think so."

"Toad, you get it," Pietro said.

"Hey, why me, yo?"

"Lance!" Pietro whined.

"Toad get the door!" Lance said.

"Ok, ok, I'll get it," The pale green mutant trudged to the door. As soon as he opened it a giant hand grabbed him by the throat, pulled him out onto the pourch, and pinned him against the side of the house. It was Leala's father.

"Listen here you little punk. I was in the raid on this house," he roared, "If I find you or any of your misfit friends anywhere near my daughter again I will personally beat you unrecognizable then see to it that you stay behind bars for the rest of your pathetic little existance. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir!" Todd managed to choke out. The muscular man let go of his throat but kept him pinned to the wall by holding his shirt with one hand.

"Deven Mckale Walkman. Remember that name. Respect it. Fear it." He wagged the index finger of his free hand in Todd's face as he said this. Then the monumental man let go of Todd. He fell in a heap while the cop non-chalantly walked off the porch, got into his car, and drove off. Todd managed to crawl back inside the house, choking from the lack of air and from fright._ Somehow I don't think cops are s'posed ta do that,_ he thought.

Wanda walked out to see what was going on and found Todd sitting in the hallway gasping for air, "What, get your tongue stuck in the bug zapper again?" He didn't respond, instead he pushed himself to stand up against the wall, "Who was it?"

"Wrong number," he gasped.

"Must have been, no one comes by here on purpose," She walked off. As soon as she was out of sight Todd crawled upstairs.

When he was safely behind the locked door of his room he collapsed on the bed and started shaking. After a few moments he calmed himself down enough to sit up. He reached under his bed and pulled out a tattered notebook. _I should really find a better hidin' place for this, yo,_ he thought as he searched for a pen. After finding one, he began to write.

"Pietro, I've been thinking," Lance said at the kitchen table. The rest of the boys were in the kitchen.

"Don't hurt yourself," Pietro responded.

"I want to do something to try and win Kitty over," Lance said.

"How?"

"I don't know, what do girls like?"

"What, do I look like a girl?"

"Well," Wanda said, "You're pretty like a girl, you cry like a girl, and you pee like a girl."

"Hey, that was a temporary medical condition," Pietro retorted.

"How about a seranade?" Freddy suggested.

"A seranade?" Lance asked, "Those don't actually work, do they?"

"It worked for Pietro and Kirstie the cheerleader," Freddy said.

"Yeah," Pietro said, "Until she found out I also seranaded Lisa the drama club girl."

* * *

The next day after the school bell rang to end the day, and Kitty was walking down the hall. She noticed Pietro standing against a locker cleaning his fingernails. 

"Don't you have anything better to do?" She asked him.

"Don't _you_ have anything better to do?" He copied.

"You're so pathetic," She said, flicking her hand at him as she started to walk away.

"Hey, at least I'm not going to seranade you," He quickly covered his mouth, realizing he gave away Lance's secret.

"What?" She asked, her eyes growing wide.

"Uh, nothing. Gotta go," He sped off. Kitty stood there for a moment, realizing that she was going to be seranaded. She squealled and raced to the spot where she was meeting Amara.

"Guess what!"

* * *

"No!" Lance shouted. 

"I'm tryin' ta do the best I can, yo!" Todd whined.

"That's the third string you've broken. Maybe I should have taught you drums instead."

"I don't know how to play those either, Lance. How th' hell do you expect me ta learn all these things."

"It's a bass guitar, it's not that hard. You just play those notes I gave you."

"But I only gots one string left, yo."

Lance groaned, "Nevermind. This was a disaster from the start! I guess I'll have to think up another plan. Maybe Pietro could think of something. Where is he?" As if on cue, Pietro walked into the house, "You know for having super speed you sure did take your sweet ass time getting here."

Shifting his eyes and thinking about what he said to Kitty, Pietro said nothing. Instead he zipped up to his room.

"What's his problem, yo?" Todd asked.

"Shut up, Toad," Lance yelled.

"Fine! I'll be in my room if anyone needs me, yo," He grumbled, walking away.

Lance had drivin everyone out of the room except Wanda.

"Hey Wanda, you're a woman," He mentioned.

"Last time I checked," She responded.

"What do you think I should do about Kitty?"

"What do I look like, a woman?" She looked down at her boobs, "Damnit!"

"Well?"

"How about you just try being yourself?" She suggested.

"I guess thats a good idea. You know, you're pretty deep," Lance mentioned.

"Well, a girl can't rely on her boobs her whole life. Want to watch a movie? It might give you an idea."

"Since when do you watch chick flicks?"

"Do you want my help or do you want to wear your ass like a hat?"

"I choose the one that has nothing to do with my ass."

In the meantime Todd was on the floor of his room bent over a heating duct. Through the vents the boys could hear anything that was going on in another room. Normally there wasn't anything worth hearing in the Brotherhood house, but once in a while when Todd heard Wanda's voice he pulled the cover off to listen.

"She don't like me by myself," He muttered to himself sadly, "Stupid Lance. Why does she talk to him and not to me?"

He tore himself away from the heating vent and got out his notepad again. It was a cheap, flimsy green notebook. Crudly drawn on the cover was Wanda's shapely figure. As he flipped through the pages he was reminded of how much he needed this tattered notebook. It was his place he could go to get away. He had writings on the events in his life, mostly incoherent rambling about what was wrong and why he didn't need anyone else-which was ironic because everything else in the notebook was about Wanda. There were rough drawings of Wanda and him together, although these rudementary scratchings could prove that he was no artist. And of course there were poems adressed either to her or about her. What it mostly contained were fictitious writings of what his life would be like with Wanda.

He opened it to a blank page and started writing, this time engrossed in one of his neurotic trailing lists about what whas wrong with his life.


	6. Jailhouse Rock

The Brotherhood boys were heading from Lance's Jeep to the entrance of the scool. Their relaxed silence was broken by Lance. 

"You've been pretty quit since yesterday Pietro."

"Yeah I uhh," He paused for a moment, thinking, "got mono. Yeah...mono. But I'm better now."

"Okay," Lance said slowly, trying to comprehend what his friend just said as they stepped through into the doors to the school. They passed the door to a classroom then heard a scream and saw something phase through the lockers

"Lance Dominic Alvers! Where the hell was my serenade?" Kitty yelled.

"What?" Pietro put his hand to his ear, "Coming Wanda!"

"When I catch you you're dead Maximoff!" Lance turned to Kitty, "How'd you even figure out about that?"

"Pietro told me, what do you think?" She spat out.

"Well I was gonna go through with it, but Toad couldn't learn bass," Lance stuck his thumb over to the mutant in question.

"You were going to teach Toad bass for me?" She questioned shyly.

"Ummm... yeah?" Lance said.

"That is so sweet," She flung her arms around Lance's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

Todd leaned and mentioned to Freddy, "Is it just me or are women crazy?"

"Very crazy," Freddy replied. The two lovebirds went to class, while Freddy and Todd walked off. As they passed an open door Todd noticed a few students playing chess.

Todd paused, looking through the door, "Nah," he said as he shook his head.

"What?" Freddy asked. He had stopped two feet ahead of Todd after noticing that he wasn't following him.

"Nothing. Hey, you wanna skip and get some nachos at the gas station?"

"Neh, if we cut again Mystique will have our balls in a sling," He reminded Todd.

"Yeah good point, yo."

"Plus we're dissecting a starfish today, remember?"

"Hey, as long as it ain't a frog, yo."

* * *

"I didn't know the inside of a starfish would be so damn freaky, yo," Todd held out his hands in front of him, "And now my hands smell all funky." 

"They always smell that way."

"Oh yeah."

They passed by the chess room again as they headed to second period. _No one in there now, yo_.

"What's in that room?" Freddy asked

"Huh? Oh, nothin'. What class you got next, yo?" They continued down the hall.

"Keyboarding or whatever."

"What am I gonna do durin' study hall, yo?"

"I dunno, maybe Pietro or Lance will be there."

---  
Several minutes later...  
---

"They're not here," Todd whined. He looked around the classroom one more time, just to make sure. Then he saw some students at a long table setting up a chess board.

He sat down as the bell rang and tried to think if he had any homework. There was a test in Mrs. Bolan's class next period. He hadn't read anything, naturally. He thought of the deal he made with Leala and he felt queasy. _Why didn't I study? _he thought.

He looked back at the chess players,_ And why did I tell her I'd join, yo! _He studied the chess players, noticing how they moved the pieces. After watching them play for twenty minutes he couldn't remember who's turn it was.

He layed his head on the table and started drifting off to sleep, closing his eyes for just a moment. His lifted his head and noticed that he was instead a brilliantly clean place. It had blinding white tile everywhere and the sink and toilet where made of white porcelain with gold handles. "Ah," He said, "Mystiques bathroom." He turned to find the best part of all; in the tub was Wanda, covered in only water and quickly fading bubbles. Todd started drooling. Just as he started taking his clothes off when heard a bell. "Huh?" He woke up to the school bell dismissing class.

* * *

later, after school

* * *

Todd crouched, catching flies behind the school dumpster. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Leala walking down the sidewalk away from the school, heedfully clutching a book and glancing around her. He hopped over to her, "Hey what's with the book, yo?" 

"Carrie, by Stephen King," She stopped walking for a moment while she answered him, but then continued walking, "Excuse me, I have to get home."

"Oh, well, what class is it for?" Leala looked back at him, "The book, I mean."

"It's not for a class. If you're going to be sociable you can walk me home," She said dryly

"I don't know what sociable means, but I'll walk with ya," He started hopping along side her.

"So, how did you do on the test today?"

Todd winced, remembering the test during third period, "I dunno, didn't get my test back yet, yo. Did you?"

"That's not what I meant. How do you think you did?"

"Ok, I guess."

After a few minutes of walking and talking they neared the gas station. Todd asked "Hey, want some nachos?"

"No thanks, I'll wait for you though," She said. They started walking into the gas station when they heard someone shout out.

"Hey Toad is that you?" It was Lance, "Where the Hell were you? We waited for 10 minutes."

"Hey this is a buddy," Todd said, pulling her by the arm to go see the leader of the Brotherhood. They moved in closer to Lance.

"And who's your friend?"

"We have nachos," Pietro sped up to the group while Freddy carried two plates of nachos from the gas station, "Hey what's going on here?"

"Nothin'," Todd said.

Freddy caught up to the group, "Aren't you gonna introduce us?"

"Hey Lance," Pietro questioned, nodding his chin in the direction of a purple truck turning into the gas station, "Think the Jeep could take that Dodge?"

"I dunno, wanna find out?" Lance asked. Todd and Leala both turned pale when they saw Leala's father driving the truck. He pulled in and stuck his head out the window.

"What's going on here, girl?" He called out, "Get in the truck, right now. What did I tell you about those boys?"

Freddy looked at Todd, blurting out for everyone to hear, "What, you nail his daughter?"

"Guess a lot can happen in ten minutes," Pietro said.

They saw Devan reach down to the console and bring a radio up to his mouth, "Hey, Edna, I'm gonna need a wagon at the gas station near 4th and Davis,"

"Oh great, the cops!" Pietro rolled his eyes, "What did we do now?"

"Loitering," Devan called out.

"That's still a crime?" Pietro asked.

"Hey, I'm getting gas!" Lance called out.

"And theft," Devan said as he got out of the car holding a tazer.

"Theft?" Lance asked.

"He knows about the fuseball table," Said Freddy.

"Shut up," Lance said.

"Ok, I want everyone in a line against the wall," Devan said.

"Says who?" Lance retorted.

"Great this is the third time I've gotten arrested!" Pietro said.

Lance said, "Shut up," and let out a small tremor.

"Will you people make my life easy and just get against the wall?" Todd said.

"Todd," Pietro said, "You're in the Brotherhood. None of our lives our easy."

"Just shut up and get against the damn wall."

"Don't we get a phone call?" Lance asked.

"At the station," Just then a police wagon drove up, "Ok everyone in the truck."

"Make me!" Pietro said.

"You could hop your ass in that wagon, or I could tazer you," Devan craftily grinned, "I'd enjoy either."

"I'd like to see you try," Pietro retorted.

"Your funeral boy," And with that Devan lept towards Pietro with his tazer, only to fall on his face where the speed demon used to be.

"You were saying, old man?" Pietro stood behind him with a chesier grin on his face. But before he could revel in his glory he heard Lance's voice from behind him.

"He wasn't saying anything, and you're getting in this wagon."

Pietro sped to the back of the wagon and laughed, "Yeah right." Then he felt a hand grab his shirt collar and haul him into the back of the wagon.

"Come on Todd, get in the wagon," Lance said. Todd started hopping towards the wagon when Devan was getting back up and started walking over to Freddy.

"Get in the wagon," He put the tazer to the big man's skin. Freddy squirmed only a little and smiled.

"Stop, that tickles!" Freddy snickered.

"Bunch of mutie freaks," Devan muttered, "Resisting arrest, huh?"

"No," Freddy looked around worriedly.

"Freddy quit screwing around and get in the wagon," Lance yelled.

"Ok," Freddy walked towards the wagon and got in.

---  
at the police station  
---

Devan walked in with the officer driving the wagon and part of the Brotherhood in handcuffs. They walked to the officer at the front desk. She eyed the boys suspiciously, "What is it this time, boys?"

Devan butt in before any of them could say anything, "Loitering, theft, resisting arrest, and drunk in public."

"What? Bullshit!" Lance cried out.

"He knows about the horse," Whispered Freddy.

"Shut up!" Pietro said.

"Hey, do I get my phone call now?"

"Cool off in a jail cell first," After saying that the boys were led to a jail cell.

"You know Freddy, you could make a door for us," Pietro mentioned.

"Fred you listen to him and you're outta the Brotherhood," Lance said.

Their spat was interrupted by another officer, "Ok, you guys get one phone call." He let Lance out of the cell. Lance immediately dialed the Boarding house.

"Pyro! Tell Wanda to go get the jeep down at the gas station by the school and then to come down to the jail to bail us out!"

Once the call was finished Lance was taken back to the cell, where they waited.


	7. Detangler

A/N: I know, I've been dead for ever, but I'm back! School has been so busy I've had no time to think about updating, I'm sorry, please don't stone me! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, even if it is a little small. You'll get a surprise (even if it might be a lil out of cannon, but I don't care :P) that will carry over into the next chapter.

---

A shapely woman wearing a blue pantsuit and carrying a brown briefcase walked into the police station. She walked up to the counter where a young male police officer was working on a crossword puzzle.

"I'm here for my boys."

The young officer startled at hearing her voice, and after digesting her statement, asked, "Ok, who are your boys?"

"Oh, you must be new here." She stuck out her free hand, "Hi, I'm Raven Darkholme."

"Oh, uh" he turned, not taking her hand, "Doris!" An older woman with glasses walked up to the desk with a big ring of keys.

"Cell three," She croaked as she gave the keys to the younger officer, "Good luck."

His face turned white as he showed Mystique to where the Brotherhood were kept. They walked through a set of sizable oak doors that opened to a row of jail cells. As they walked down the hall toward the cell, they could hear the Brotherhood squabbling.

"You gotta get me out of here, I'm too pretty to be in jail!" Stated a whiney voice that was clearly Pietro's.

"Will you shut up, you haven't stopped whining since we've been in here." Came an older brother tone that was most likely Lance.

"I gotta get out of here!"

"Shut up!" Lance punched Pietro in the arm.

"OW! Quit it!" Pietro hit him back. They were too busy fighting that they didn't notice the officer and Raven stop in front of the cell, Raven grabbing her temple in frustration.

"Freddy," She moaned. He grabbed both the boys and held them apart. "Thank you, Freddy."

Pietro, still hanging from Freddy's hand, spoke. "You're here to save us, right?"

"Do you know how much I've done to get you out of here?"

"Who'd you sleep with now?"

"Freddy, drop him."

"Ow!" Pietro went crashing to the floor.

Raven stood there and looked over her boys, and noticed that Pietro had a black eye. Raven stuck her face close to the bars and looked directly at Pietro. "Who kicked your ass?"

There was a blur moving from Freddy's feet to the bars, and Pietro's face appeared at the bars. "It was the big cop!"

"That's not true," The young officer exclaimed, and pointed at Lance, "It was the tall one."

"Really?" Raven said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, "Boys, where did Pietro get the black eye?"

"A cop hit him," Lance said.

"Yeah, with his billy club, yo," Todd said.

"In the eye," Freddy spoke up.

"It really hurts." Pietro whined.

Raven turned to the young officer. "Open the jail cell," she demanded.

"Yes, ma'am." His voice cracked slightly as he took the keys out and struggled to find the right one. Just then Deven walked through the big double doors. He took one look at the scene near the end of the hall and shook his head.

"Cromwell, what on God's green Earth are you doing?" Deven said in a stern voice, making everyone but Raven jump.

Poor Cromwell, the young officer, was visibly shaking all over now, stress eating away at his nervous system, "Um, sh-she came to, uh, to get them," He stuttered as Deven walked up.

"Really now," The big man said with a slight southern drawl, "And what makes you think you can do that, lil miss?" He looked down at Raven, and she looked back up at him coldly.

"These," She pulled out papers and handed them to him, "Release papers, the DA dropped the case against my boys."

Deven glanced at the papers, then handed them back to Raven, a look of disgust momentarily passing on his face.

--  
Back at the ranch...  
--

There was trouble in the Brotherhood house as soon as they stepped in the door. A large brown dictionary was hurled into the mass of what was the Brotherhood, effectively hitting Lance in the head.

"Ouch, hey!"

"I can't believe you idiots got arrested." Wanda wailed.

"Hey, don't blame us," Pietro said, "It was all Toad's fault. Him and his new girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend, yo!" Todd whined in protest.

"Really, then why do I have this?" He pointed to his black eye.

"Hey, it's not my fault he's a jerk!"

"Well this wouldn't a happened if you weren't bangin' his daughter!" Pietro said.

"I'm not bangin' her!" As he stormed off to his room.

"I guess not that much happened in ten minutes." Lance said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I don't have time to worry about you freaks, I got a date tonight." Wanda said before she stalked upstairs to her room.

"Yeah, I gotta go see Kitty tonight."

"Does she know you're coming?" Pietro asked.

"Does it matter?"

--  
Several Hours Later  
--

Lance was sitting in a tree just inside the fences of the X-Men mansion, looking through a window.

"Lance, why are you in a tree?" He looked down and saw Wanda.

"Well I was looking for Kitty, but I found something a Hell of a lot more entertaining"

"And what would that be?"

"Pietro screwing Jean...sideways."

Wanda stood there for a moment, then quickly climbed the tree.

"Pietro, you slut loving bastard." Wanda said. Then she and Lance's eyes went wide.

"Is that even possible?" They both strained to look through the window, and as a result fell off the limb they were sitting on.

"Get off my ass!" Wanda shrieked.

They both stood up and brushed off dirt. "Well I guess we should get going before we wake up Wolverine."

"God forbid." They both started towards the gate and hopped over.

As soon as Lance dropped down he had a realization. "Wait, Wanda, what were you doing here?"

"Is that any of your business?"

"You live in the Brotherhood house, so yes."

"I told you, I had a date, but the jerk wasn't here." She dug her hands in her pockets and walked faster.

"Oh, who was it?" Lance said with sarcasm in his voice.

Then he tripped over an invisible crack in the sidewalk.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Is my love life any of your business?" She spat at him.

"Well, define love." He took a couple of bounds and caught back up with her.

She glared at him. "What?" Lance asked, raising his hands, "I'm just asking. Well, at any rate you're probably getting more action than me."

"Hey, I'm not a slut."

"No kidding, are you related to Pietro?" She slugged him in the arm. "Ow, do You suffer from permanent PMS or do you just get meaner once a month?"

Wanda stopped and looked down, lost in thought.

"What is it now?" Lance tried to make his question sound sarcastic, but caring seemed to show through. The Scarlet Witch looked up at him.

"Can you keep a secret?" She asked. Lance nodded. "I've been sterile since I was twelve."

---

A/N: Stay tuned for the next chapter...


End file.
